How did I get here? When exactly were the defining moments in all these changes and why did I think it was a good idea to "choose" them - or at least accept them? ...... this question has crossed my mind at least once a day, for the past 6 months. There are days I ask myself "did I literally just go off the deep end without realizing it?" I swear between devotion, self-help books, small group, journaling and ladies+wine+bs therapy - I am still clear headed.....whatever that means.
It all seemed to just happen. Over time of course, yet now looking back it feels as if overnight I was thrown into a different life....one I chose I guess - wait that's not right - just thrown out of one I no longer choose ..... that feels a lil' more accurate. Whew. Still what the hell? I'm uncomfortable, tired and lacking enthusiasm about this new start. All my cheese has been moved, I've directed it, and now I sit back craving good ol' normal cheddar in the place I've always found it. Sigh..... here we go.
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." -- Lao Tzu
To-Do:
adjust my thinking....
- Approach dealing with change as a process. Dealing with change is not like an electric switch that is either on or off. It is like baking bread. There are many steps and ingredients. Both baking bread and dealing with change take time.
- Reframe the way you think about change. Choose to give positive meaning to life changes. Even if you've never moved your furniture, you still have the hair style you wore in High School, and you always the same lunch, you CAN thrive on change.
- Breathe and be flexible. Prepare to move with the changes because they are going to happen. No one's life is free of change. And you wouldn't like it if it WAS!
